Today, I almost broke down in tears in yoga. That was weird, though the instructors have said sometimes big emotions may get stirred up. The thing is, I didn't have anything to cry about. The class was no harder than usual, and all in all, I was having a really good class. I'd had a good day, too. Not too much stress, unlike most of last week which was a stress-fest. And that's when I realized the connection. Last week was deliciously stressful at work. I was a fucking ROCK STAR! The Executive VP agreed that I MOVE MOUNTAINS! It was stressful, in the very best ways. I was at the top of my game. But, no one can stay at that level forever, especially not me, because while one would not describe me as lacking ambition, one would also not describe me as overly ambitious. I found a comfortable job that lets me be a rock star from time to time, but most of the time, I do my job, which I enjoy, and get average praise for it, and I go home and leave most of it in the office. I work around 40 hours a week, and there is very little pressure and stress overall. So today, I was looking forward to the return to normalcy. I may have returned TOO much to normalcy, because I found myself slightly disinterested and unable to focus. There is a happy medium between last Thursday and today, but I am having a hard time finding it. But the urge to cry in yoga class was actually more about the release of last week's emotions. I wasn't sure until today that last week wasn't going to spill into this week. When it became clear that it wasn't, there was actually a bit of let-down. That let-down made itself known in yoga class.
Or maybe it was the girl beside me's energy. She sounded ... troubled. Her breathing was labored and erratic at times, but she didn't seem to be struggling with the poses. I began to suspect she had some negative energy working it's way out. I may have accidentally caught some of it.
Today, I also asserted myself on Facebook. Short story: an activist I think highly of was offended by the wording of a question at Planned Parenthood. A lot of activists joined in, and it started to sound like there was going to be a burning of Planned Parenthood at the stake. Now, I can see how some people would be offended by the wording, but I posted my experience with PP: that I was delighted to be asked about it (the specific question is "Is your partner bisexual?", the issue for my friend was really how and where it's presented on the form) because it made me feel like I was in a safe space to say, yes, I have sex with men and women, and my sex partners have sex with men and women. I felt compelled to defend PP against what felt like an overblown attack, and pointed how how respectfully I've been treated there, and how good the information they've given me has been. I agreed the wording could be improved, but I didn't agree that a battle needed to be fought. And guess what? The tone shifted a little, to one of, "hey, let's try to inform PP that this wording can be offensive, and perhaps give them suggestions for improvements." At last reading, the conversants were looking for people working in the health care field who might have good input, and/or contacts at HIV clinics to get examples. I feel VERY HAPPY I spoke up, because I think I turned the tide a little bit, and also very proud to know this group of activists, who seem to listen, and think, and strategize. I'm not saying other activists don't. I just mean, it's cool to see this group of people in action!
Yesterday, I called out slut-shaming on the North Texas Poly group on Facebook, but I think the intended recipient missed the point. I will have to be watchful of her. A lot of people liked my comment, so at least some people understood my intentions.
My parents' 50th wedding anniversary party that my sisters and I are throwing is in 19 days. Yikes! Today, one of my dad's first cousins called to RSVP regrets, because he just had hip replacement surgery a week and a half ago. Another one of my dad's first cousins just had hip replacement surgery, also (or was it knee?) My dad's father had his hip replaced in 1974 or so. All these hip replacements make me VERY NERVOUS about my wonky hips. I've always suspected something genetic. Seeing all these cousins having issues is not very reassuring. On the other hand, my dad will turn 77 at the end of this year, and he still has his original hips (and knees). His spine is arthritic, but his hips are HIS. lol In other news, my mom will turn 70 this year. Suddenly, these ages seem so much younger than they used to. Although my parents are OLD, they are still in good health, still do the things they want to do, for the most part. Heck, two years ago they went to Abu Dhabi to visit my sister, and rode camels! I hope to be even healthier than they in 30 years.
So, that's what's up with me. Yoga, work as a rock star, activism and realist approaches to affect change, and aging parents and genetics. Good times. I think I'll go to bed soon.